It's been a while, hasn't it? I've kind of lost the habit when it comes to blogging, which is an odd sensation given that it's something I've done regularly for the past 4 years. It feels good though, I'd missed blogging. As you've probably seen, I've also done some major redecorating over the past couple of months, what do you think? I'm actually pretty happy with it, which is a refreshing change. I'm between two minds for my blog design, whether I should make it very clean and minimalist or whether I should do a very random and original design, though I am really enjoying this current layout so I think I'm going to stick this one for a bit.

I'd really like to say that things have been super hectic at the moment and that "I've simply got no time to blog!" but I'd be lying through my teeth if I did. Honestly, this has been one of the most unproductive summers I've ever had. I kind of feel terrible for it but it felt so good!

I passed my exams in June and left my college and got my qualifications and began looking for a job. I had a couple of trial periods but they didn't amount to anything, and after a really awful experience with a salon, I started really questioning whether or not I wanted to stay in hairdressing. It was kind of a terrifying thought, given that for about 3 years I've been convinced and insisting to everyone that hairdressing is what I want to do. I look like a *bit* of a tit. I've been thinking about what I want to do, and long story short, I'm going to be (hopefully) doing my a-levels in commerce.

As I said, this summer has consisted of varying between my girlfriend's house and my Mum's house. I feel like I haven't done all that much else, other than my job at the pizzeria next my my Mum's and babysitting my girlfriend's nieces and nephew.

I guess you may be wondering why I went fairly AWOL recently, and to be honest it's just been a total lack of inspiration and motivation. I seemed to have, overnight, lost any capability to write something sassy and original and interesting that would captivate people. And more importantly, I'd lost the motivation and the willingness to do so, for the first time in about 3 years. Everything I wrote seemed bland and a little lifeless. I felt like I was writing the same content thing over and over and I just didn't want to tell you guys yet again 'what I've been loving this month!' with a fake smile and pretty photos that took me an age and a half to take. It started to feel exactly that - plastic. Fake. Unoriginal and more importantly unauthentic. It was me, just not quite. I write in the same voice that I speak in, but sometimes I struggle to get across the nuances and the tonalities, especially when I'm being sarcastic. But that's beside the point. The point is that I needed some time off. Some genuine time off, and not a note at the end of a post saying that I'm taking a week off, only to continue posting. I needed some time where I could close the tab in my browser that has been open constantly on every computer I've had for 4 years - the Blogger tab. I needed some time where I could let myself not wonder how my latest blog post is doing. I needed to let myself be a person before I was a blogger.

Anyway, I'm off on my holibobs (does anyone say that or is it just me?) on Saturday and I'm thinking about writing a post with some photos because it's meant to be a really nice place. What do you guys think?

Matti x