Matti May Hardie

Hey all, how's you?

I've been a bit out of sorts on my blog recently. I'm not really sure where I want my blog content to go, because let's face it, there's only so many times you can talk about lipsticks, so sorry about the odd posts and strange posting dates.



I'm going through a lot of changes in myself recently. My interests are changing, my style of thinking has done a 180, and I'm finding myself interested in things that I would have found weird once upon a time. Actually my life is doing a 180 at the moment. Given the fact that I'm finished college, exams are upon us, and everything feels very final. I'm currently stuck with what to do next year, given the fact that I can't get an apprenticeship until I get my qualifications, but I need to do stuff with the school involved with the apprenticeship but I can't given the fact that I can't get an apprenticeship. Also, I need to inscribe myself to my backup course. GAHHHHH. It's a massive vicious cycle and it's scaring me because everything is just teetering on 'nearly happening' but then life is moving too fast for everything and it's a very strange sensation and it's basically just making me want to hide in bed and watch Friends all day.

Long story short, everything is going to shit, but it's okay because it was my birthday so I'm going to have a shit ton of money to buy pretty shit. To be honest, being able to find discount codes everywhere is starting to become an art, I swear, it's wonderous.
Speaking of pretty shit, I've realised more and more that I'm a massive snob when it comes to make-up. I swear I turn my nose up at anything that doesn't have a certain price tag or a certain name, and I KNOW HOW BAD THAT IS but I just can't help myself! I just can't trust it!

I'm trying to write and create and develop my skills in music but it's just not happening. I'm trying to get better at song writing and playing guitar but I'm totally unmotivated. I don't think right now is quite the right time for me to learn anything like that, given that I need to make my exams my main priority (says the girl writing her blog while she's supposed to be revising).

SO YEAH FUN TIMES. On the mental health front, I had a bad pass a week or so ago when I was constantly having panic attacks for seemingly no reason, but they seemed to have calmed down. My anxiety and my paranoia is on a normal level and I haven't had a really low day for a while now (touch wood!). I'm making the most of this time where my brain is fairly level to try and understand my mental illnesses better. Trying to understand what triggers me, what I should and shouldn't do; my logic behind it is that the better I understand it, the easier it'll be to conquer it.

I'm not sure if there will be a May favourites, I have got a load of clothes from a friend and I'll have a fair few purchases what with my birthday money so I may just do a mega-haul, I'm not sure yet. To be fair, I'll probably put a poll up on Twitter and let you lot vote.

Matti x


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Hey all, how's you?


God I'm old. This is fun! Next year I'm officially an adult *fist pump* soon my tattoos shall come!

1. Stop trying to hide your freckles. Embrace them! They're so cute!

2. Contour and highlight are real life photoshop and it's wonderful.

3. Talking calmly to someone about something that they're doing that bothers you is never a bad thing.

4. It's okay to not understand your sexuality.

5. Be proud of who you are and everything that you do.

6. It's okay to need to take some time out to not see people. That doesn't make you a bad friend or selfish.

7. Talk to people about things that make you uncomfortable.

8. Lists are good as long as you don't let them rule your life.

9. Writer's block will pass.

10. You're aloud to find your friends mind-bogglingly hot and yet not want a relationship with them.

11. Don't google your symptoms. Google will probably tell you you're dying when you've actually just got a cold.

12. It takes longer than you'd think to built up a circle of people you genuinely would trust with your life.

13. Punctuation is really important. Use it, goddamnit!

14. Just because everyone around you is having sex, doesn't mean that you have to as well. If sex isn't something that attracts you that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

15. Literally no one is going to pressure you into taking drugs in high school or college.

16. Eating healthily and having a decent diet reduces anxiety.

17. You can literally listen to whatever music you want. You don't have to stick to one genre. Just because you listen to metal doesn't mean you can't listen to k-pop (speaking from experience).

18. You are absolutely allowed to love with yourself and find yourself attractive.

19. A good handshake shows a lot about someone.

20. Self-love will never break your heart.

As always I hope you guys enjoyed this post and I'll see you next week!

Matti x

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Hey all, how's you?

Even though I'm not wearing a hell of a lot of make-up lately, I always find myself going to back to this look.

After brushing a little bit of powder to matify my greasy teenage face (Sephora 'MicroSmooth' compact powder), I start right on with my newfound favourite part of my make-up routine - contour! I don't contour a massive amount, just my cheekbones and jawline with the bronzer in my TooFaced palette 'The Chocolatier' palette which you can't buy anywhere anymore (sob). I'm also using the highlight and the blush from the same palette (honestly, I have no idea what I'm going to do when I run out of this palette!)

For my eyes, I decided to use the shade 'Lava Cake' from my TooFaced palette (yes, again) on my top and lower lash line. I blended it out a little to make it a bit more smoky, then added some white eyeliner to the rest of my bottom waterline to open my eye up a bit (I'm not sure why but I'm all for the massive anime-like eye at the moment. I'm a woman obsessed, I tell you). I also add some white eyeshadow to the corner of my eye.


For mascara, I'm currently switching between the MAC 'False Lashes' mascara in Extreme Black and the TooFaced 'Better Than Sex' mascara (both are samples I have, both are amazing and I'm dreading the day they run out!), but I generally opt for the MAC for daytime use.
For eyebrows, I'm using the Benefit 'Gimme Brow' brow mascara in the shade 05 - deep.

Now for the pièce de résistance - the lips! I'm using the Urban Decay 'Vice' lipstick in the shade 'Blackmail' and I am in love! It's a really nice vampy, purply/red shade and it's just exactly what I've been looking for recently.

Matti x

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Hey all, how's you?

I feel like March and April have been the longest and shortest months ever; it's so strange! I have, however been loving loads of different things over these couple of months and as usual I'm going to be sharing them with you guys!



Urban Decay 'Vice' lipstick in Blackmail
This is the lipstick of my dreams. I've been waiting for a lipstick like thiis before I knew I wanted one. It looks black, has red and purple undertones, and it just makes me look badass and everything good in the world.

A Place Of Secrets by Rachel Hore

I've already discussed my love for this book, but it's going back in here because fucking hell I have been glued to this book for the whole of March! It got juicy (yes it's a bit of a slow starter) and now I'm dreading the end!

'That's The Spirit' by Bring Me The Horizon

I'm aware that a lot of my music favourites are a bit late (far too long after the release!) but I realised that I'd never listened to the full album, and when I did, my love for BMTH was rekindled. The lyrics, the music, the meaning, everything is just utter perfection. I couldn't pick a favourite because I love them all!

Killstar 'Bella Morte' dress




I came across this dress because Harmony Nice featured it in her March favourites and as soon as I saw it I knew I needed it in my life. The lace detailing and the whole witch vibe it gives off is right up my street and ohhh it makes my heart happy. I'm really trying to get some new dressed at the moment for the this summer because I honestly have none so if anyone has any good sites for clothes that aren't too expensive hook a girl up.

'Divide' by Ed Sheeran

Needless to say that this is a work of art. It's so well written and everything about it is amazing. My favourites are Galway Girl, Shape Of You, and Castle On The Hill:

'Ask The Passangers' by A.S King

THIS BOOK. THIS FUCKING BOOK LORDY LORD. It's possibly one of my favourite books ever. It's about a 17 year old girl from a small town, who is also kind of in love with a girl. As you do. It's all about questionning your sexuality and the solidity of friendships when it comes down to it, but it also has loads of references to great minds like Socrates and Plato and I just think it's such a good LGBT book. I honestly read it in about 2 days. The only criticism I have is that the end didn't have much of a ´wow' factor and I still had questions that went unanswered.



Bourjois 'Velvet Edition Rouge' in 'It's Reddin' Men'

I'm now obsessed with this liquid lipstick. I've always had an appreciation for liquid lipsticks, but a lot of them dried my lips out, so I gave up on them and stuck with my trusted matte lips (that also dried my lips but fuck it). Then, when I tried this, my life changed. The formula is really nice and smooth on my lips, it applies really well and lasts for ages.

Caroll 'Samantha Ruby' dress


Every year my school put on a fashion show, and this year I was singing with a friend of mine and for this fashion show, there are shops based in the town where my college is who lend us clothes and the shop who was lending me my outfit was a shop called Caroll. This was the first thing I tried on and even though at first I felt really uncomfortable and weird, it very quickly grew on me. The clincher is that it costs 130€ (I can confirm I choked when I heard that). It's so pretty though! It's beautifully comfortable and can be dressed up and down. All the heart eyed emojis.


Matti x


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Hey all, how's you?

Two posts in one week? You lucky things!

This post is the first of a couple of posts that I will be writing in collaboration with Rosegal.com. Rosegal is a site that not only does clothes, but also accessories, shoes, bags, beauty products, wigs and homeware, so I decided to do a little wishlist, and then I'll be doing a review once I receive the items.

Gothic Style Dragon Shape Earring




I found this whilst musing in the accessories section and jeeeeesus I need this in my life! It's really cute, and just fancy enough to add a little bit to it. 

Padded Cross Back Lace Crop Cami Top - Black



Now, I have no idea if I'd actually have the balls to wear this, since it is fairly short, but I can definitely see myself wearing this over the summer with maybe a pair of black shorts and my Docs or something like that.


V-Neck Ruffled Casual Tunic Dress With Sleeves - Black


I've been looking for this simple kind of dress for ages. It looks really versatile and I could probably wear it in all seasons. 

Vintage Snake Alloy Ear Cuff - Silver




Literally just the same thing as the other ear cuff. They honestly just both make me seriously happy.

Chic Totem Print Off The Shoulder Short Sleeve Romper For Women - Red



This is cuuuuuute! I can already picture myself just chilling in the sun with this on. Plus, I'm totally into the on the shoulder thing going on at the moment. 

As you will have noticed if you've read my recent haul, I have a lot of black and monochrome items of clothing in my wardrobe, and this is my way of trying to encourage myself to wear more colour!

I hope you enjoyed this post, keep your eyes peeled for the next post.

Matti x

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This post was sponsored but all thoughts and opinions were my own, naturellement.

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Hey all, how's you?

I've made a fair few purchases of late, and seeing as I haven't posted for a while I decided I'd go ahead and do a little haul to make up for it!



Urban Decay 'Vice' lipstick in 'Blackmail' - 18,50€

I've been looking for a nice, dark lipstick for ages now, and whilst in Bordeaux (our version of Manchester, to give you an idea of the size), I popped into the Sephora there and decided to pick up Blackmail, simply because I'd fallen in love with it as soon as I'd set my eyes on it! It looks like a black lipstick but it's got red and purple tones in it, too which makes it less harsh.


Bourjois 'Rouge Edition Velvet' liquid lipstick in 'It's Reddin' Men' - 14,50€

I've been tempted to pick this up for soo long now, and every time I see it in a shop I'm just hesitating, before dragging myself out because I was going to end up very late if I didn't. Then, at one point, I forget when, I gave myself a serious talking to and bought it because life's too bloody short!

Bourjois 'Volume Clubbing' Mascara - 14,95€

I'm not going to lie, I'd never heard about this mascara, but I need a new everyday mascara and saw this when I bought the Rouge Edition Velvet. The wand is a brush wand and it doesn't look too complicated to use, and that's all that matters to me when it comes to mascara, really.

Sephora 'MicroSmooth' compact powder in chair clair - 16,95€

I got this simply because Mama was doing a Sephora order and I badly needed some powder. Turns out it's actually pretty good and keeps me looking matte for a lot longer than I would expect. I got it in the lightest one (I'll give you 3 guesses as to why!) and I'm really happy with it so far!

Bourjois Eyeliner in Ultra Black - 12,99€

I had money, I wanted to treat myself and I had no eyeliner left. I let the salesgirl win me over because she was hot. JUDGE ME. I'm actually fairly happy with this. I've tried it a few times now and the only negative I'd give it is that if you shake without the cap on (because you do tend to need to shake it a bit to get the product out after one eye) it goes EVERYWHERE. So just beware of having black hands if you do. Other than that, it looks really nice, has quite an impressive staying power and the line is nice and crisp.

And Other Stories 'Drawstring Sweatpants' - 39€



Okay so technically I didn't buy this, Mama did, but she gave it to me because it ended up just not fitting her. They're beautifully comfortable and really well made. I'm honestly obsessed with it and I can tell I'm going to be wearing them until they're in shreds!

Jennyfer 'Never Mind' t-shirt - 7,99€ was 12,99€




I went on a bit of a shopping spree with Mama and treated myself to a few new tops because I had literally nothing to wear otherwise! This is the first thing I picked up because I like the metal/rock group style t-shirt thing.

KILLSTAR 'Bella Morte Lost Babydoll' dress - 44,99£




I first heard about this dress from Harmony Nice. As soon as I saw it I was immediately like "YES. YOU. COME TO ME. NOW". I'm aware that it's a bit pricey (for me at least) but it's really good quality and it's got all lace everywhere and there's a cut-out at the back and it just makes my heart really happy. It's actually a lighter material than I'd expected it to be so it'll be perfect for summer, too!

Jennyfer cropped shirt - 11,99€ was 19,99€



Again, I just found this adorable and it keeps up my lesbian stereotypness with the plaid. What's not to love?

Jennyfer grey and red t-shirt - 9,99€




I really like how simple this is. It's pretty easy to style with just about anything, and the red on the collar and sleeves add a pop of colour. (lol, I'm terrible at talking about clothes I'm so sorry)

Sorry I've been away so long, but I'm back for good now!

Matti x


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Hey all, how’s you?

In about a month, I’m going to start my exams. By the 30th of May, I’ll have finished said exams, and my time at my college will be over. I’m feeling extremely scared about the end of the year because it means I have some big decisions to make about my future, but not only that, but yet again I’ll be bought to say goodbye to some the amazing people I’ve met over this year.




I say yet again because I had the same thing last year. My main friend group at college last year were last years, and I had the whole ‘saying goodbye, end of an era’ kind of feelings already, and I feel like it’s starting all over again, and if I’m totally honest, I don’t really think I want to. I don’t know if I’m ready to leave college yet. I don’t know if I’m in a mind space where I’d be able to function in working life, even if I’d still be partly in school. It’s also freaking me out because I don’t even know if I want to carry on with hairdressing. The truth of it is that hairdressing is a mixed bag - it can be fucking amazing like it can be annoying and dull. It’s definitely not what I expected, with I guess was to be expected, I mean, no job is ever exactly what you expect it to be, is it? I very much have a love-hate relationship with my trade, and I realise now more than ever that I need to make a decision. Love or hate? Do I love it and do it for years to come, or do I hate it and leave hairdressing, only really doing it on the side? 

Everything’s happened very fast, I guess. I honestly feel like this year has gone by in the blink of an eye, that just yesterday it was boiling hot and my class of 30 piled into one of the 3 salons we have at our disposal, while our teachers droned on about what we would be doing this year and how important this year is, bla bla bla. I feel like it was only yesterday I met the people who are now my favourites, that I was flirting with a girl who I’m now seeing. It feels odd to think of now leaving that college, where so many memories were made. 

The thing with being an intern (someone who sleeps at school), is that the place becomes more of a home than your home. You know the people, you know the place off by heart, you know all the matrons and everything becomes very familiar. You know what you can and can’t do. I could give you a tour of the place with my eyes closed, I’m sure. I can pinpoint each part of it and associate a memory or a person to it. The thought of leaving those dorms behind, not packing my suitcase every Sunday and complaining about how early the curfew is, running around the three floors looking for someone, sneaking around and going into my friend’s rooms once all of the matrons had gone to bed, well, the thought of leaving all that behind makes me really sad. 

Everyone always says they can’t wait to leave, but I’m bloody well dreading it. I’m not going to deny that there are days where all I want to do is come home, but there’s a large part of me who wants to find another course and stay there for another few years.

I feel like responsibility and expectations are piling up on top of me, that everyone’s staring at me expectantly, waiting for me to make a decision, to do something, to make some great statement about what I’m going to do with my life. But in total honesty, I’m totally lost. I have no fucking clue.


Tl;dr - I’m looking forward to the future, I’d just bloody well wish it didn’t come so bloody fast.

Matti x

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Hello!



Matti, 18, easily pleased, likes swearing, pizza and women way too much for my own good. You learn to love me.

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