Hey all, how's you?

I guess it's fair to say that I'm a pretty awkward human. It's just a fact - I have no bloody clue how to act like a normal human.

1/ You send someone a message. And then you think of something else and send that too. Before you know it you've sent them 5 texts, 3 snaps and a Facebook message, and now you want to send them yet another message to explain that you're not a stalker.

2/ You basically clutch to your phone like a life support in public to avoid accidentally staring at people and seem like a psychopath.

3/ You can't talk. You just can't. Between the stuttering, the words that come out in the wrong order and the words that just aren't there, you pretty much give up on the whole concept.

4/ Compliments? WHAT ARE THOSE? They end up being the most obscure compliments in the world like 'you have very moisturised knees' or 'your hair looks less greasy today' (before you ask, I did in fact say that to someone once).

5/ The absolute terror when you see an aquaintance in public. Do you say hello? Do you smile? Or do you just pretend you didn't see them?

6/ Two words - word vomit. I'll say no more.

7/ Constant babbling. Even in your brain, it never fucking shuts up. Even when you plan what you're going to say, 9 times out of 10 it still goes to shit.

8/ Waitress: "Enjoy your meal!" Me: "You too!"

9/ You end up laughing your own jokes in your head, but you're laughing out loud so you basically look like a psycho (again).

10/ Not daring to speak for no reason because if not you're going to end up babbling like an idiot for 15 minutes about bananas.

You can find Dreast on Instagram here or @freedreast, or their blog here - it's fucking beautiful and makes me weep every time I go on it (plus they're not totally awful to look at), and they're a good one, a favourite of mine, I'd say.