I'm all emosh. Don't ask me why, I have no bloody idea, but I am. I feel like everything's crushing me alive and I don't think I can deal with everything alone anymore. But this blog post isn't just a pity party for myself, I'm writing this because I had an epiphany tonight and I felt the need to talk about it - you shouldn't feel ashamed about letting your mental illness win from time to time. Before you start sharpening your pitchforks and loading your guns, let me explain, yeah?

If you have any mental illness, you'll get me when I say that fighting your mental illness is hard and fucking tiring and draining. And that means that it gets worse, and it's really just a vicious circle that goes around and around until you have nothing left. That's not a way to live. Sometimes you just have to, in the words of Ash Hardell 'ride the wave'. So from now on, I'm not going to beat myself up when I spend a day in bed because my anxiety just isn't happening, or when I just stop trying to be strong for a bit. It's not toxic as long as you can get back up and keep fighting after that. Even the strongest soldier needs a break.

It's unrealistic for anyone to think they can continuously battle their mental illness alone. It's just not possible. Of course you're going to have days where that's all you can think about but that's not something you should be ashamed of. And one thing that annoys me about certain mental health blogs and blog posts that I read is that they almost bully people into thinking that it's a terrible thing to feel bad and let yourself feel your mental illness now and again (no shade to anyone, there are some amazing mental health bloggers out there, but some less good).

You feel like shit? Okay, take that day off. Let yo'self stay in bed and binge-watch a show you're not really even watching. But the hell you better get yo pretty ass out of bed the next morning and show your mental illness that's you're nobody's bitch!

It's all about balance. You need to let yourself find that balance. Beating yourself up and saying you're weak because you're not pushing down feelings that need to be felt is not healthy and will end up hindering you more than helping you.

You are not weak because of a down day.

Hey all, how's you?



I guess it's fair to say that I'm a pretty awkward human. It's just a fact - I have no bloody clue how to act like a normal human.

1/ You send someone a message. And then you think of something else and send that too. Before you know it you've sent them 5 texts, 3 snaps and a Facebook message, and now you want to send them yet another message to explain that you're not a stalker.

2/ You basically clutch to your phone like a life support in public to avoid accidentally staring at people and seem like a psychopath.

3/ You can't talk. You just can't. Between the stuttering, the words that come out in the wrong order and the words that just aren't there, you pretty much give up on the whole concept.

4/ Compliments? WHAT ARE THOSE? They end up being the most obscure compliments in the world like 'you have very moisturised knees' or 'your hair looks less greasy today' (before you ask, I did in fact say that to someone once).

5/ The absolute terror when you see an aquaintance in public. Do you say hello? Do you smile? Or do you just pretend you didn't see them?

6/ Two words - word vomit. I'll say no more.

7/ Constant babbling. Even in your brain, it never fucking shuts up. Even when you plan what you're going to say, 9 times out of 10 it still goes to shit.

8/ Waitress: "Enjoy your meal!" Me: "You too!"

9/ You end up laughing your own jokes in your head, but you're laughing out loud so you basically look like a psycho (again).

10/ Not daring to speak for no reason because if not you're going to end up babbling like an idiot for 15 minutes about bananas.

You can find Dreast on Instagram here or @freedreast, or their blog here - it's fucking beautiful and makes me weep every time I go on it (plus they're not totally awful to look at), and they're a good one, a favourite of mine, I'd say.

Hey all, how's you?



The jobs for my half-term were the following:

- Put classes up to date
- Finish Death Note (I've been watching it for way too long it's not even funny anymore)
- Write a shit ton of blog content

The problem is, of course, the last one. It's always the same thing - when I'm at school, I have a shit-ton of ideas and inspiration for posts, and when I have the time and I can sit down and write content, I HAVE NO IDEAS ANYMORE. It's really impractical, but it happens all the time, so after a while I've found a few things to remedy this.

Also, for some reason, even though I was spouting about how much good content I was going to produce this year, I feel like my motivation for writing blog posts has hit rock bottom, so that's fun.

Take Inspiration From Your Surroundings

It's so simple, yet it works. I mean, this all depends on what kind of blogger you are, but if you're like me and do a lot of lifestyle posts, just look around, listen to what people are talking about, watch/read the news, read a book, go on social media and try and find what people are talking about. This is honestly something I do regularly and helps me a lot. Even your writers block could help (example - this bloody post). Whether your thing is lists or essays or whatever, try and look around and see what's going on in the world.

Read Some Blogs

I know it's easy to tread the line between inspiring yourself from something someone else has written and downright plagiarising someone, but reading stuff other people have written can help. I mean, obviously don't steal people's ideas, but sometimes something someone says will resonate and that'll inspire an entire blog post for you (trust me on that, the number of posts that were inspired by other bloggers is insane).

Take Some Time Out

I know, insanity. What a concept! Missing a post? Never! 
But in all seriousness, it's not always a bad idea to miss out a post now and again when you're feeling a certain lack of ideas. Sometimes that's exactly what you need in order to jog some inspiration.

Brainstorm

This is easier said than done, and definitely takes practise. It took me fucking ages to learn to brainstorm. I know, who knew it was an art form? But really, just get out of your house (i.e coffee shop, park, public library, train station - fucking anywhere where there are people), grab a notebook, a pen (please take an actual notebook. It's not the same as your phone) and a drink and just sit. Look around, doodle, jot down vague ideas, words, anything that comes to mind. Sometimes that really helps to jog some ideas.

Pre-Write Posts

Okay so this isn't something you can do whilst you're struggling, but it's something you can do before-hand. If you're like me and is a stickler for regular posting, when you have a period where you are really motivated, just pre-write or start to write a shit-ton of posts. That way, you can either finish them or polish them off and post them, and no one will be any wiser. It works wonders, I swear.

Write Fake Posts

Of course, there are things that you don't want to talk about on your website. But maybe now and again you'll have an idea for a post about it, but that you know you'll never post it. Write it anyway; not only will you be able to practise your writing style, but often that helps me jog my ideas, too. 

I hope this post helped some of you who may be struggling with writers block. Let me know some of your tips in the comments because I swear I'm taking anything at the moment!

Hey all, how's you?

I recently had a bit of a situation in the form of 'my make-up bag was stolen (again, but in it's entirety this time), which had all of my make-up essentials in it', meaning I had no base products left, and all my brushes, long story short I have next to no make-up left - YAY. And of course I had to look for jobs the next day, so I had to manage with some of Mama's make-up and what I had left. This is what came out of it and I'm actually surprised with how happy I was with it.

Quick note that this post isn't sponsored by TooFaced (I wish), but I have centered it around the TooFaced 'The Chocolatier' palette.

Base

So even though there was technically no base, I did spray on some MAC 'Lightful C' Marine Bright formula softening lotion spray (when there's MAC I never say no).

Eyes

Okay, so first things first I put on the Urban Decay priming potion on my lids and then I'm going to be grabbing my favorite at the moment - the TooFaced 'the Chocolatier' palette. I'm going to put 'Butterscotch' (which can I just point out how FUCKING PRETTY it is) on my lid and line my bottom lash line with it too, and then pop 'Toffee Crunch' in my crease. If I remember, I'll put 'Banana Date' in the corner of my eye next to my tear duct and also on my brow bone. If I'm feeling a bit fancy, I'll get a slanted brush and line the top of my eye with 'Huckleberry'. I love this look because it's perfect for blue eyes because HOLY SHIT IT BRINGS OUT THE BLUE SO MUCH.

Hey all, how's you?

This is the first favourites post of 2017! It's kind of crazy to think that this blog turned 3 years old two weeks ago. It's fucking insane. Anyway, I decided to miss out on December favourites simply because it was mostly just a run up to Christmas and I was just re-using products I had already told you guys about. This post was meant to be chock-a-block with beauty products, I promise you it was, and then my entire make-up bag was stolen at college... again; hopefully this time I'll learn to be more careful! A good 90% of my make-up is gone and I'm going to have to restart my make-up collection all over again, so please excuse the lack of anything make-up related.


TooFaced 'The Chocolatier' palette

I got this palette in the Chocolatier set that I got for Christmas, and I've been using it all the time. It's a really good on-the-go palette. It's a little less pigmented and buttery than I had expected, but honestly given the colours and shades of the eyeshadows and the blush/bronzer/highlighter honestly just makes up for it. However, the blush is so fucking pigmented it's insane. 

Arctic Monkeys - AM

I'm aware that I'm very much late to this party, but I'd always been aware of Arctic Monkeys, but it's only really recently that I'd started listening to them. I'd always had a couple of their songs on my phone, and I'd always meant to listen to the full album, and I finally did, and I'm now obsessed. Something about the cool vibes, mixed with Alex Turner's accent and his blazé slur when he sings, it just makes it such a pleasure to listen to.

Hair tattoo



More specifically, my hair tattoo. I've become a bit jaded of my hair of late, I'm growing my roots out to bleach it but I'm finding it difficult to find a cut or anything that I'm really obsessed with. Then, the other day Marion and I were in the salon with nothing to do, so she sat me down and handed me a google images page and told me that she wanted to try hair tattooing and that I was going to be her crash test dummy. I flicked through and found something she could base herself off. Marion is a really good artist and generally I just let her do whatever the hell she wants with my hair, so I just let her play around and I'm obsessed with what she's done.

Extraordinellie

MY FAVOURITE HAS GOT HER BLOGGING GAME UP! Ellie is one of my closest friends and if you're an O.G reader, her name may ring a bell. She launched her blog on the first of January and it's really fucking good! I may be a bit biased because I'd read Ellie's shopping list, but still, she's funny, she's fancy and she's sassy. What's not to like?

'A Place Of Secrets' by Rachel Hore

I first started reading this book when I was about 10 or 12, and then my copy evaporated. I had no idea where I'd put it and I, for some reason, was incapable of remembering the title or the author. Over Christmas, I went for a hunt for it and after looking near and far, I finally found it again and my Dad bought it for me for Christmas. As usual, you'll have to find out what it's about yourself because the plot is quite thick and there's a lot of different storylines, but it's written in a way that they all correspond and it's not at all confusing.


TooFaced 'Better Than Sex' mascara

I got a sample of this mascara in the chocolatier palette, and at first I was really disappointed and figured it just wasn't for me. I continued to use my Urban Decay 'Perversion' as usual, but then once that was stolen, I decided to give it another go and turns out I'd judged it far too soon. It's really nice, holds a curl really well, and is actually pretty long lasting.

Rings

I got these rings from Crazy Factory and ohhh they make me so happy. They're pretty as hell, even though the one with the stone in the middle is heavy as fuck! But still, they make my heart happy so who cares. You can find them here and here.

Skins

Funnily enough, this show is seriously popular in France, and after hearing about it from everyone and their dog, and the countless edits on Facebook, I finally decided to give it a try and I'm now addicted. I've ploughed through the first season every weekend and I bloody love it.

Hey all, how's you?


I try and be as androgynous as I can, but one thing that I do enjoy doing is dressing like a guy. I love men's clothes, their way of being, and I love being able to pass as best I can. Today I wanted to talk about that for people out there who may want to pass better, or at all, as a man.

Binders

One of the giveaway things if you're trying to pass as male is your boobs. There's no getting past it, there will always be those two lumps on your chest that declare you as female. One of the best ways to get rid of that is to bind. It's best to understand binding before starting, because if you do it wrong it can seriously damage your lungs, chest and boobs. I don't bind an enormous amount, but when I do I've discovered two ways that are best. You can buy a binder, which is the ideal option, or you can use bandages, which are fairly stretchy. Bandages are okay, but not for regular use because they're fucking faffy and always separate and it's just insanely impratical, but now and again they work pretty well.

Styling

This is something I struggled the most with when I first started trying to pass as male. At first I would wear things that I didn't necessarily liked, but that looked really masculine, but after a while, I decided that it'd be better if I just looked at things that guys were wearing that I liked and used that as inspiration. Pinterest is great for that since there are more than enough ideas for everyone. Just experiment and ask guys what they think, that way you can get a feel for what works and what doesn't.

Jewelry

Jewelry's kind of particular. Personally, I try to avoid it because it's a very feminine kind of thing, but if that's your thing, who's going to stop you? I have a couple of rings (you can find them here and here) that I generally wear that are pretty gender-neutral, and a chain works pretty well. I mean, saying that, if you want to wear jewelry, go ahead.

One thing you need to remember about cross-dressing is that it should be fun. It should allow you to explore fashion and try new things out. Personally, I'm just too feminine to pass as a guy properly, but that doesn't stop me from trying.

I hope this post was interesting, if you have any questions, as always leave them in the comments and I''ll make sure to answer them.

(Also thanks to Marion for modeling, you can find her on Twitter and Instagram)