Hey all, how's you?

I was looking for a new handbag online and a realisation hit me rather hard because I'd never thought of it before, but once I had I felt stupid not to have realised it before. Fashion scares the shit out of me.

I don't like shopping. I never have; whenever I walk into a shop I feel obliged to spend money on something if not I feel bad and if I ever do leave a shop empty-handed I feel like everyone's judging me, especially if I had asked for one of the shop assistant's help. You see, I'm very difficult when it comes to shopping. I have a very specific taste that is rather difficult to cater for, especially in rural France. Even more so now as I'm trying to change my style because I really don't like the clothes I'm wearing and I'm trying to encourage myself to wear some more unusual pieces, rather than what everyone else is wearing.

Like I said, I've always hated going shopping - the mere idea of it struck fear into my heart because I knew it would mean an afternoon-long expedition to try and find just a couple of pieces that I liked, and even then it was never a 100% guarantee I'd ever even wear it.

Fashion scares me, quite simply because I don't understand it. I remember many a time standing wide-eyed, lost like a deer in the headlights, in the middle of Primark, not really sure what I was supposed to be doing or why I was even there in the first place. I don't know how to put an outfit together, I don't really even like most of the trends, I barely even know my own size, and don't even bother telling me to ask a shop assistant for help, I'd probably lose her within the first sentence what with my incessant nervous babbling (thanks for that, social anxiety, you're a love). Add to all that that I don't really know what I want.

It also annoys me a bit when I get odd looks off people. Like when I walk straight to the men's section of a shop and try stuff I like on. Yes, sometimes I prefer to wear men's clothes rather than women's clothes because men's clothes look better on me than women's clothes do. Yet if I walked into a Primark and started perousing the men's section, and then proceeded to try some things on, I'd get some very odd looks from both shoppers and shop assistants, but that's a whole different subject that I'll be talking about soon enough.

Am I the only one who feels intimidated by fashion?